Parents often struggle the most with children who are around two or three years old. This stage of the terrible twos or threes is right between learning to walk and talk (the basics), and learning to use logic (more complex). The child also wants to be more independent.
As parents, we usually end up in a power struggle because we are worried the child will get hurt, or break something, or make a mess, etc. Successful parenting involves knowing when to get into a power struggle, and when to walk away from one because it just isn’t worth the fight.
“Power struggle” may sound harsh, but this is what exactly happens when you try to dress your child and they just scream “No! No!” What’s bad about this is that nobody wins, and both parties can end up hating each other.
Believe it or not, there is a way to raise a child without being too stressed about it. Your two-year-old kid can be your friend if you follow these tips for successful parenting.
Give Your Child Space
No individual wants to be controlled. It’s true for children also. This is one of the first things a parent needs to understand in raising a responsible, happy child. Every person wants to have a “say” over himself, and that’s something we all need to respect. Giving your child the freedom to decide on what shirt or shoes he wants to wear is a very good step in showing that you respect his decision.
Now, there is a fine line between giving space and giving him the freedom to do anything that he pleases. As a parent, you are responsible for raising your child and helping guide him to make good choices. But you need to do it in such a way that you don’t violate his self-being. If you don’t like his choice of leaving his toys around, explain the natural consequences of it and stick to it.
Compliment Your Child
Compliments can boost self-confidence, and this is probably something you’d like for your child, right? How much confidence a person has often determines if they will be successful in life, especially when it comes to managing a career.
When you give compliments, always make sure that it is genuine. Compliments need to be earned, and this is something that your child needs to understand. Otherwise, they may incorrectly learn that they’ll get a compliment form you without earning it. And this belief could extend to other people your child interacts with down the road.
The important thing to remember here is to compliment your child whenever you see that he has exerted effort on what he’s doing, and not just praise him for something simple. If your child succeeds at something simple like putting away some toys, say “thanks” instead of complimenting it. Make it at least slightly challenging to earn the compliment!
Spend Quality Time With Your Kids
Life is busy, no doubt. But no matter what, you need to make time for your kids. Too many parents fail to do this and not only do they feel guilty later, but the kids take notice and it affects their behavior.
Make no mistake that no matter how busy you feel your life is, you are CHOOSING to either spend your time with your kids or somewhere else. Choose the right balance. Avoid the regret that you’ll surely feel otherwise.
Spending time with your kids also allows you to understand their motivations and likes or dislikes. This will help you when it comes to discipline later.
Positive Communication
Some parents only tend to have “serious conversations” with their kids when they misbehave. The focus of the conversation is around what parents what their kids to NOT do.
Let’s not forget that kids also grow and benefit from hearing what you appreciate about them. And speaking in positive terms really helps here. Even if you are trying to correct poor behavior, it’s more effective to tell your child what you DO want rather than what you don’t want.
Also, remember to talk with your child rather than at your child. Listen to your child’s opinion and feelings. Ask good questions when something is unclear. You’ll be surprised how smart your kid actually is, and you’ll learn something you didn’t already know.
Talking with your child also fosters a feeling of love.
Learn From Your Mistakes
We all want to be the perfect parent, but there’s just no such thing. In order to be a successful parent, we need to learn from our own mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn, and if we don’t make mistakes we are not learning. But if we make mistakes without acknowledging them, we also fail to learn.
If you are trying to develop a certain behavior in a child and are not having success, try something else. Don’t keep trying to get your result with the same (failing) method. Adapt. Think about how your child is motivated and try something new. Otherwise you’ll not only fail to accomplish the change that you are after, but you’ll strain your relationship with your child.
Above all, successful parenting is achieved when a loving and caring parent is able to observe what is working, and modify what is not working.
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About The Author:Chris Thompson is the creator of “Talking to Toddlers”, an audio course for parents. He teaches parents how to overcome the normal problems that every Mom and Dad faces with kids by learning better communication skills.
Make sure you visit Talking to Toddlers here.
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